A young lady Ive been getting to know for awhile now told me that she wanted another child, and if the man she married didn't want any, she'd do an "oops" with the birth control and have her a baby anyway. I asked her why would she do such a thing and her response was..." if we married it wont matter, I got him and he got me anyway". Now, little does she know, that by that statement she'll FOREVER stay in the friend zone with me and NEVER go any further. The thing is, I asked her the same question 6 months ago, and her answer was.." I don't want any more kids, I want to travel and have something to save up for the ones I have now, LIKE YOU SAID. Mind you this woman is 5'3 and 175 lbs, THICK, but not fat, but only 2 pack of M&M's away from fat. Can you imagine what another baby will do to that body?! Don't get me wrong, I have no problems with bbw women, as a matter of fact, some of the longer relationships and better lovers Ive experienced in the past were on the "plus" side of the scales. I (this is my personal opinion) just don't want to take a bbw down the aisle. Why, because most if not all bbws don't want to take a bbm down the aisle, or date them for that matter, so why should I? Though im not that big of man, but you get my point.See how feelings and goals change with time? Now, Ive watched people on facebook change their status every 2-3 months. 1st their single, then they re married, couple months go by, and their status is back to single. I say, take some time and get to know these people 1st!. You never know what a persons true intentions are just because they say so. Give it some time, get to know them, and the real truth will rear its ugly, yet wonderfully beautiful head. Charisma is what you'll see in the beginning and typically dosent last long, character (who you really are) will and can only be shown in time.
The bible has allot to say about fornication (sex before marriage) and here's just a few reasons why Biblical Reference, but lets take a more carnal look at this. We live in world that is getting worse and worse as the days go by, the world is only a reflection of the people who live in it. Morals, heck good manners, are going by the wayside faster than you blink. So to assume that people are telling you the truth just because you asked them is just about foolish (I'm mainly speaking of new people that enter into your life). I'm in my early 30's, but it didn't take me this long to realize that feelings change with time. So, if your my age or older, or if your younger and hearing this for the 1st time....Falling in love is not the way, most falls hurt, and not many stay down after a fall, they normally get back up sooner or later. Therefore, when it comes to love, people need to GROW in love....like a tree (I used tree because we often refer to our family tree, and even those take TIME to grow, they don't just all of sudden pop up on ancestry.com,in the family bible, or wherever you have them). Love needs to nourished, and cultivated over time. Metaphorically speaking, its needs the sun, and good ground, good weather and storms to grow and become strong and it needs time to reach it roots down so that when the storms and winds and (other) people do things/beat upon that tree, it ll still stand firm for many years to come. Now, God had us in mind and didn't want us alone (some of us he may just want all to himself Biblical Reference,Biblical Reference). know this also, love always considers THE OTHER PARTY AHEAD OF SELF, just something to keep in mind. I say, give it some time, examine yourself 1st and foremost and ask yourself, are you really ready to be with someone or are you just filling a void or trying/tired of being alone?
Theres a spirit of rebellion happening in the world, rebellion against God, his word, and his way of operation. Examine it for yourself, what if you had been obedient to God in the 1st place. How many broken hearts, painful situations both mental and physical, and flat out waste of time would've been avoided had you simply waited. Heck, not many people are even on speaking terms, let alone in a relationship or marriage with the person they gave their virginity too (something irreplaceable that they ll never get back). Along with that spirit of rebellion, theres allot of down low homosexuals, both male and female. Women who have been married and/or had children who later decides after the fact that they'd rather be lesbian. Men who secretly sneak around and have sex with other men and hide the fact from their women. Yup, down low. Ive personally had a married man try and "get at me" facebook. More often then im comfortable with, ill catch the eye of a woman that's with her man. The man will catch her sneaking and peeping, then he too will start sneaking and peeping, and its happening more and more as time goes on. Ive also seen many a "balla" car pull up and pick up, or drop off a transsexual.
Like I said before, take the time to get to know people. Sure ladies, you may be attracted to his aggressive posturing, and be in awe of his jail muscles...But what did he go to jail for, was this his 1st time being locked up, is he a constant repeat offender? Sure he may be locked up this time for carrying a gun, but what about those other times? Was it rape, statutory or otherwise. Don't be so quick to add that man to the family just because the baby daddy isn't there, he may be a thief, be looking at your daughter, or your son for that matter, the wrong way. This one goes especially to my single mothers out there.
Men, don't just get caught up with her big ole (insert what ever your personal preference is) and be so fast to sleep with her. How many kids does she have, and by how many fathers? How many restraining orders does she have on men, or have had to put on men? If shes got multiple children by multiple men, how much unprotected sex has she had? She may have only gotten pregnant x amount of times. And we all know that it normally doesn't take long before the condoms come off, if nothing else the urge to take them off. Who has she had locked up, what were her past relationships like. Case in point: I know of a man that was sent to jail on domestic violence. He had a good job, and was a good man to his lady. Never hit her or even got loud with her in public, when to church, finished college, the whole nine. But, one day they got into an argument and he went to jail. When his lady was questioned about the circumstances by friends it sounded like this: " girl what happened". "he hit me". "OK, where yo marks at, I don't see any on your face, DID HE BREAK A RIB OR SOMETHING?! ***** is kinda buffed". "he pushed me". " why did he push you?". " We was arguing and I was close and he pushed me". " he pushed you? Did he push you through something?" "Damn you nosey, i was up in his face, I called him a couple b1tches and h0es and he shoved me! I got he right to say what I want , that don't give him the right to touch me!". Not to drag the whole story out (I'm keeping it anonymous), but basically she had him up against the wall, disrespecting the man, and he shoved her out his face and up off him. Now, not all situations are this extreme, and not all ladies operate like that. BUT, its naturally in women (at least that's the excuse society uses nowadays) to try and see if they can wrestle control from their man, and believe it or not, there are women out there who don't think you love them or care about them until you hit them. Just keep in mind, that theres no real way to be inside a persons mind and know when too far is too far, or when shes had enough of you, plan on moving on and wants to display her power.....to dial 911 (that's another post all together).
Take your time, be safe, love yourselves 1st and take the time to let that love develop into something real and not just an emotion that ll change over time. They do say things are different after the marriage, and after you move in, Just f.y.i. And if it happens that you re the one to have what you think or feel is love, wait till that love is being reciprocated or mirrored before you move forward. If you're lonely, Jesus said " he'll never leave nor forsake you Biblical Reference.......he's probably the only man some of you all haven't tried out anyway =D.
